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OMG. WTF. WHO AM I?! WHO ARE YOU?!

September 25, 2007

Is there anybody out there applying for grad school fall 08? Please, let me know.

I’m kind of (actually, VERY MUCH SO) freaking out about it. I know I shouldn’t, but this is a big decision for me. See, I wasn’t planning on going back to school period because back in the day when I thought I’d be some cool journo flying off to Nicaragua or something, I thought to myself, “You don’t even have to get a Masters, let alone go to college, to be a journalist.” And then one day, after talking out life decisions with Mel (my best friend whom I’ve known since I was five) this past summer, I realized a) I don’t want to journo b) I really enjoy school and c) I can see myself teaching someday.

…So now it’s September and most deadlines are in December and, and, AND.

Two Saturdays ago I was sitting in bed with my computer in front of me and it was like some other spirit was taking over my body. My fingers start typing out the URL, http://www.ets.org. Before I knew it I was filling out my full name…my address…my credit card number…SUBMIT…

Uh. Uh. UH. WAIT!

Back arrow. Back arrow. BACK ARROW.

I checked my Gmail account and there it was:

“Your appointment for the computer-based GRE – Graduate Record Examination is confirmed. Please find the confirmation details that follow.”

Wait, what? Is this for real?

I checked my bank account. There. In front of me. All my bank activity for me to see. So long $140 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Adieu forever.

WHAT IS GOING ON? THAT IS PRACTICALLY TWO WEEKS WORTH OF GROCERIES.

Sigh…But the registration had to be done. I’ve been putting it off for months. I know exactly why: once I register I will be forced to take it. There will be no way out of it. No more “studying” at Starbucks for, um, three hours – I mean, um, forty-five minutes. No more telling people, “I plan to take it before it changes in November.” Nope. Gone. No excuses, PLAY LIKE A CHAMP.

I’m taking the GRE’s October 19th. I’ve got about three weeks to catch up. It’s not like I’m screwed for life. The Kaplan book has been cracked. Dammit, Kaplan, I’m counting on you. Yoga breaths, yoga breaths, yoga breaths.

I can’t believe I’m doing this. And I still have personal statements to draft! And forms to fill. And financial aid. AND FINANCIAL AID. I’m going to be broke up the asshole by the time I’m finished with school. And it’s not like I’m going to be a medical doctor and pay back my loans with my $100,000+ salary. I’m not rich either. Why can’t I have Paris Hilton’s money? This would make things so much easier. I would actually invest that money well, too. By the way, where is Paris? I haven’t seen any pictures of her partying lately. Wow. She really stuck to what she said… (*UPDATE: Paris set to go to Rwanda)

Anyway, what if I don’t get in? This isn’t like applying to undergrad where you’re signing yourself off for courses in dilly dallying (Though, I will say, it wasn’t all dilly dally, but you know what I mean). We’re talking about six to eight years of your life. YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

In eight years I will be 30.

Oh, my God.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. September 26, 2007 1:56 am

    buck up girl! i’ve got all the confidence in you, if you forget you have some, just call i’ll remind you where you put it last.

    london is great.
    gre’s are just another test…after you take it you won’t remember it past a year. if you take the metro or bus to work, take some notecards with you and practice then. leave some notecards on the window in the bathroom, a few on the back of the door. right before you go out, take a quick look.
    you’ll do fabulous!!

    come visit soon.

  2. annierebekah permalink
    September 26, 2007 9:56 pm

    re: Paris ‘n’ Rwanda OMG WTF?
    also, at least you’re taking the GRE’s. I feel totally inadequate with regards to advanced degreez right about now. I should have pursued party promoting while I still had the chance.

  3. Melissa permalink
    January 11, 2008 4:00 am

    ugh, the GREs kicked my ass. Next time it’ll be the other way around. Anyway, here’s to giving ourselves time before applying to grad school. Because, you know, a year off is nothing when you’re gearing up for an *8-year* commitment.

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