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Let it go. For real. Holler.

January 7, 2008

It’s 2008.

Wow.

That’s all I can say. A year ago, I was freaking out cos I was on the verge of starting my last semester of college. College seems like so long ago now even though it kind of wasn’t…

Whatever. Happy holidays everyone!

I was going to write a post recapping the insanity of Christmas and New Years but I’m not. Oops! I started writing it but a fourth of the way through I kind of got lazy cos there was much to cover. Plus, I also thought, Ehh, there are some things that should be kept to themselves, and that was one of them. Besides, this was all I had:

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Can we just talk about how wild this holiday was? Let’s. Because I need some affirmation that my family is not the only crazy family out there. If I can sum up into a couple of words the holiday that was Christmas/New Year 2007, it would probably be “What the fuck?” or “Are you serious?” or “Jesus Christ…” These words are all said, by the way, half-kidding half-serious with a half-smile in a completely non-sarcastic way. Does that make sense? I don’t know.

I’ve always looked forward to Christmas because I spend it not just with my immediate family but with 20 plus extended family members who are technically family friends. I call them family, though, cos I’ve known them for so long. The moms and dads are my parent’s friends and their kids are basically the kids I grew up with and consider my brothers and sisters. The parents all met when they moved from the Philippines to the States. It’s quite touching, really. Some of the dads, including mine, get together every Friday or Saturday night and have mahjong nights. In mid-January, all the parents are going on a bit of a getaway cruise together down to Mexico. That’s pretty fucking cute.

Anyway, for the past 23 years I have spent my Christmases with these people I call my family. First off, let me tell you that when you get a bunch of Filipinos together you’re guaranteed a loud and raucous good time. Food seems to magically appear out of nowhere. Vats of it. Gleaming metal vats of chicken and rice and lumpia and pancit and some of that American stuff, like honeybaked ham, for the Americanized kids. You are required to eat. If you do not eat it almost taken as a personal insult. Either that or they think you “are on diet diet? Why? You eet! You look anorex-eeck.” It was a lot of fun when all the kids were young. Somewhere around 1999, my Tita Edyth instituted a new Christmas tradition wherein all the kids would have to do some kind of performance for the annual Christmas show. I should mention that none of these performances had to be Christmas/Nativity themed. That said, none of them were considering it was the kids who had to come up with something on their own. You think an eight-year-old girl wants to reenact the baby Jesus in a manger with Mary looking on and looking homely scene for the five billionth time? Of course not, especially when Britney Spears circa “…Hit Me Baby One More Time” is the current hot song.

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And that’s not even the good part. That was all build up. I will say, though, that Christmas and New Years were wonderful and being with family never gets old. Did a lot of thinking. A LOT. Like, self-reflection, sitting in my room, reading books and underlining parts with personal meaning, drinking genmaicha green tea, listening to songs with feeling, staring at the sunset type shit. It was deep. Whatever. Sometimes I think I’d make a good monk. Yeah, you laugh. Fine. How about an OK monk? Mmm-hmmm. I’d totally do the tattoo thing. I really want to. Have you seen Angelina’s back piece? Fucking sick. Anyway, having a room to yourself does that to you, I guess (Yeah, I share a room with my roommate in D.C. It cuts my rent in half so there).

However, here are some holiday bits worth highlighting which I will most likely refer to in future posts:

  • The moment I found out my 13-year-old brother’s relationship status through his MYSPACE page (Excuse me? What are you doing with a Myspace page? Who are you Myspacing? Who’s this Andrea person? Why is she your top friend? Why won’t you let me view her Myspace page? Why is there a little winky emoticon face after “Yes” in relation to the question, “Are you in a relationship?”)
  • Various family members asking me if I had a boyfriend and then looking at me funny when I told them no.
  • A conversation between my mom’s aunt and my mom that went something like:

Aunt: Does Genny have a boyfriend?

Mom: None that I know of. No…She hasn’t told me anything.

(PAUSE)

Aunt: …Is Genny…um…is she…is she…a TOMBOY?

Me: (on the phone with Mom as she is retelling this story to me) OH, MY GOD! Does she think I’m a LESBIAN?! (bursts out laughing)

Mom: Uh…No. I told her no. I told her that, you know, you like boys and that, you know, you see them…I didn’t say it like THAT.

But I made it clear that you like boys and she said, OK.

Me: (laughs) Wow. Am I really that ambiguous? (*NOTE: This is not the first time particular family members have questioned my sexual orientation) That’s awesome!

  • My mother hinting, for the first time to me, that she would like to have grandchildren somewhere down the line. “Hopefully,” she said, “I will see them before I die.” Apparently, she thinks I will turn out like Diane Sawyer – married at forty, possibly childless (Dude, Diane is married to fucking Mike Nichols. I think I can afford to wait.)
  • The final episode of I Love New York Season 2.
  • Jamie Lynn Spears’ preggo announcement.

Yeah, so those are some holiday bits that really stood out for me.

Anyway, it’s a new year and all that blahblah. I’m not a huge fan of the New Years resolution thing cos it seems stupid anyhow. You think all those fools jogging outside the day after New Years are going to keep that up for the rest of the year? Hardly. I am all about starting the new year right and fresh, though. Clean slate. New start. That said, I am going to go on the Master Cleanser diet. It’s also known as the “Lemonade Diet.” It’s some disgusting sounding concoction of lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, salt, water, and God knows what else. It’s intense. Danny has a friend who looked and felt like complete shit throughout the whole process cos shit was coming out everywhere. Out from her butt, from her pores. I mean, we’re talking CLEANSING. But by the tenth day she felt rejuvenated and her skin cleared up nicely. I really want glowing skin. I’ve recently gotten into skin care. All those moisturizers and creams? Bath salts and exfoliation and scrubs? Hell yeah. I dig that. I want to feel smooth and smell nice. It makes me feel good about myself OK? Oh, yeah, another friend told me she’s heard stories of people expelling kidney stones. What the fuck? That’s all kinds of crazy but that is also awesome.

‘m dead serious about the Master Cleanse. I hate knowing there are years of crap building up in my intestines. I’m not so sure how I feel about the losing weight part. I don’t want to lose THAT much weight. I mean, I’m starting to get comfortable with my body, and especially with my boobs, for the first time in thirteen years or something. I’ve heard stories of people losing up to 15-20 pounds on the diet. Damn, that’s a lot of weight. That’s also a lot of shrinkage. Beyonce went on the diet to prepare for her role in Dream Girls and we all know how thin she got – look! I don’t want my boobs and the rest of my body to shrink drastically. That entails buying new clothes and right now I do not have the money to spend on a whole new wardrobe. Anyway, the plan is to start next Monday, the 14th, until Thursday, the 24th. At the recommendation of a friend I have decided to blog about that whole cleansing experience so I’ll create a section devoted to that in due time.

Hope you all had good holidays. By the way, have you heard the new Alicia Keys album? It’s dead on. Alicia, I feel you. Oh, man, do I feel you.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. annierebekah permalink
    January 9, 2008 12:17 am

    ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING ON THE BEYONCE DIET??!??

  2. dmaxine permalink
    January 9, 2008 6:33 am

    genny. this is not a blog. this is a freakin’ short story. holy moly macaroni girl. nevertheless, i am not surprised. still love the posts…keep working your fingers on those keypads.

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