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Spicy Poop

August 7, 2008
NOTE: Some people get really offended by poop. If you are offended by anything remotely related to poop, pooping, and bodily functions that are PERFECTLY NATURAL and NORMAL you have been warned. This post may not be to your level of comfort.

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Last Saturday I capped off a typical Adams Morgan night of fun with the ever-tasty and ever-reliable Pizza Mart jumbo slice. If you are like me, you pack that sucker with chili pepper and garlic powder. I had not had Pizza Mart in ages so you can imagine how excited I was (Though I’m willing to bet those beers earlier in the day had some kind of effect). My mouth was on fire and the next morning, when all the beer and pizza had digested, so was my butt. WHAT THE BLEEP…? That question ran through my brain as I sat on the toilet. In All Caps and everything. I wondered why that day’s morning toilet pow wow felt different from the rest, made a mental list of what I had eaten the previous day, and when I got to “Pizza Mart, chili, garlic,” I knew why.

I had to confirm my theory and so I went to my friends, the trusted ones who would not judge or make fun of me for asking questions about their poop and my poop. The ones who would not laugh in my face or, if they did, they would laugh in my face and then say in an apologetic and then sympathetic tone, “No, really. I’m sorry. Okay, I’m going to Google this right now.” My roommate, Rebecca, Googled “spicy poop” and found a blog with a person who asked the same question. My friend, Sara, said she’d ask her friend Lauren who works at the NIH and was on her way to becoming a doctor.

Here’s the diagnosis:

11:47 AM Sara: i’m talkign to lauren about spicy poop
me: lol
what’s the word?
11:48 AM Sara: me: if you eat really really spicy food, is it normal for the poop to burn when it comes out?
Lauren: i think so — the cells there are very delicate
and a lot of the spicy probably isn’t broken down during digestion
me: YES
Sara: you’re not crazy!
me: YAY!
Sara: and:
plus, it may cause extra stomach acid to be produced that gets mixed in and that would burn too

So there you go. If you’ve ever thought, No way! because the thought of having burning sensations down there due to spicy foods sounded crazy, don’t worry you’re not. There’s a scientific explanation for that.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. geekbynature permalink
    May 13, 2009 12:59 am

    So, this is like the first thing that comes up when you Google “spicy poop.”

    And uh, yes, I was Googling it. But I found the answer!

    • Genny permalink*
      May 13, 2009 3:06 am

      HAHAHA. You’d be surprised at how many people search “spicy poop.” My personal favorite: “my butt burns poop stomach acid.” Poor guy!

  2. March 8, 2010 6:43 pm

    slack-jawed speechlessness. guess this is another reason i’m glad to have the mexican genes. amazing.

  3. nickname permalink
    October 19, 2010 9:19 pm

    i wonder if “spicy poop” also happens when someone poops alot, for example if you have salmonilla, or are lactose intolerant (they cause you to poop alot) and if you are constantly pooping woldnt that make it burn also?? i wonder why that is

  4. Jrabbit permalink
    October 19, 2010 9:46 pm

    “My Butt Burns” a story by me….

    James clutching the toilet, frantically saying over and over in his head MY BUTT BURNS. lifting his buttock while still still spewing off the toilet. Running to his computer while screaming BUUUTTTT BURNNNSSSS HOTTT HOT HOT. Seeing the computer screen flick on at this point, changing from the wide angle lens shot ,of puppies faces screen saver, to his desktop comes as a relief. Must find whats wrong, James says to himself. First he arrives at Web MD first spicy poop burns bad he types frantically… Damn no result, butt hole still burning… AHHHH Google the wealth of information, I shall try there. By this time his eyes are blood shot and he is clenching his fist hard he drives his finger nails into his desk.” My butt burns poop stomach acid” he describes to Google. This is genny the first result, maybe genny is well versed in poopy stomach acid booty burns. Ah! I have found my closest friends.

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